Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
