Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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