do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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