Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This baby is an asshole
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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