I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
