I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
