Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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