sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
