that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
