happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
