She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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