I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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