It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
