I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize