just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
