She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
