Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
