I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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