Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Terrible idea I love it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
