she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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