his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
