Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
my liver is dry heaving
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize