Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
