I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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