So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
