there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How does it feel to date your dad?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
