Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
A bitchslap is in order.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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