I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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