Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
