My room smells like vodka and shame
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize