I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
