as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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