Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I fill condoms, not promises.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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