There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
