She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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