i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i drank out of a bidet.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
