I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
