your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
