Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
