I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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