You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
