like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
