Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
