Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
