I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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