I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
