Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
