At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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