I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
