every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
