i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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