Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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