she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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