my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
