You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize