he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
