If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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