32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she looked like the before picture.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
