It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
