My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
