He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
