I want to stick my p in your. b.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
