so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
