just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
