I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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